Hiya, folks! I’m still adjusting to changes and struggling to figure out rhythms. The good news: I’ve had a steady stream of freelance work coming in each week for about a month now. The bad news: between the freelancing and the book writing and the upcoming release marketing and all of the aforementioned life adjustments I have no ever-lovin’ idea where blogging fits in, so expect things to remain sporadic until either I figure that out or things settle down.
At any rate, before the upheaval I wrote and submitted a guest post over at one of my favorite devotional blogs, God-sized Dreams. And whaddaya know, they accepted it! It went live over there last week. I’m a bit behind on giving y’all the heads up. Sorry about that. At any rate, here it is:
One day last fall, I holed up by myself in my quiet place, a little bedroom nook where I could pray aloud without being heard. I had a lot of things I wanted to cry aloud to God about, and I knew there was bound to be some actual crying in the process that I didn’t want anyone to see.
I’ve been waiting a long time for some of my dreams to happen.
I have big dreams in my heart, dreams that include becoming a best-selling author and having a thriving blog ministry. I have more personal dreams, too, dreams that might be on a smaller scale but to me seemed even bigger and more impossible. Dreams like becoming a mother even though it seems like that ship has sailed and my husband and I missed the boat. Dreams like moving out of our crime-ridden neighborhood and back to the country where, if kids ever did happen, we could raise them in peace.
I was struggling with disappointment because it seemed like that first dream had been dashed. Just weeks before, I had launched my first traditionally published novel. Despite all my efforts to build excitement about it, and despite all my prayers for its success, book sales were lackluster.
Somewhere along the way I had convinced myself that this book was the key to all of my dreams coming true. That if God chose to bless it and allow it to prosper the way I hoped it would, we’d be able to move, I’d finally be able to get good insurance, and we could start trying for a baby.
When my book failed to take off out of the starting gate, it felt like all my other dreams stalled along with it. Sitting there in my nook with tears streaming down my face, I confessed all of this to God, along with my anger and frustration and hurt feelings. “When, Lord?” I cried. “When will you bring my dreams to reality?” And then I lifted my eyes and saw the stack of paperback copies of my book that my publisher had sent me, and I heard a still, small voice speak to my heart:
Daughter, I already have.
And here’s a little addendum to that post: all of this upheaval and transitioning and adjustment and busyness is all the result of yet more of His faithfulness. God is good, y’all. Amen.
PS: Find more encouragement for your soul at these linkups:
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