I have a confession to make: I haven’t been having a good week.
It’s not that it’s been particularly busy or stressful or difficult. I’m not even sure what my problem is, really. I was fine when I woke up on Monday morning, but at some point during the day, discouragement settled over me and I’ve been having a hard time shaking it off.
Because sometimes it’s not that simple.
Actually, I do know what the problem was. I’d grown weary of waiting. I’ve been blogging a lot here about how the Lord has been teaching me to be patient and wait for Him to move on His timetable instead of trying to hurry Him up and make things happen. But He also made me to be a doer and a planner, and even after all this time I’m just not very good at sitting still and waiting.
Which, I suppose, is why He’s been giving me so much practice at it these last few years.
I’m getting better at it, but sometimes it’s still hard, and it makes me really tired. It’s amazing how waiting, which is essentially doing nothing, can make us so weary.
Thankfully, I’m not alone in this (and, dear reader, neither are you!). The Bible is full of people who are tired of their circumstances and weary of waiting for them to change. People with amazing faith and commitment to God. People like Moses, weary from wandering in the desert, who cried out in Psalm 90, “How long?” People like David, who wrote psalm after psalm asking God to be merciful and end his suffering when he was being hunted by King Saul. People like Hannah, the mother of the prophet Samuel, who cried bitter tears as she prayed fervently for a child, so tired of waiting for God to hear her prayers and heal her womb.
It’s not a sin to be discouraged and tired of your circumstances. It’s not a sin to grow weary of waiting.
Wallowing in these feelings, on the other hand…
I knew what I needed to do. I needed to spend some quality time with the Lord, praying and reading his word. But the last couple of days were too busy to allow much of that, and by the end of the day my mind was too worn out to think clearly, let alone pray effectively.
So this morning, after errands, I made the time. I confessed my negative feelings, spent time reading and praying through scripture, and asked God to create a renewed spirit within me. Then I asked Him again, like the persistent widow in Luke 8, for all of the things I’m getting impatient to receive, and committed again to waiting for His answers to unfold in His good time.
And I know they will. I just have to–say it with me now–be patient. Just a little while longer.
And I’m back in a place where I can do that. It’s a good place. A place of peace.
What are you being asked to wait patiently for, dear reader? Tell me in the comments how I can pray for you today.