Here I Am

So here is my new blog home, complete with a new title and a new focus (although I’m still pulling the sidebar and pages together). It’s pretty basic, but getting back to basics is kind of a thing with me right now, so that works out. I’m hoping to move the rest of the content of JMB.com to WP.com soon (meanwhile, the blog is archived here), and put it in a configuration that puts the focus more on my books, but that might be a while yet as my freelance workload starts to pick back up.

I had a nice break, though it was longer than I’d planned. Before Memorial Day Weekend I was scrambling to meet deadlines so I could take a long weekend, but then I ended up getting the entire week off after the holiday. It was a wet vacation spent mainly indoors, where I used my time off to pray, plan and refocus my priorities.

This new blog is partly the result of that. God has been doing a major work in me lately and I wanted to create a space where I can talk about that, and although I’ve alluded to it here and there on the old blog, my “author blog” just didn’t seem like the appropriate place. For one thing, it was all about me — and that’s a big part of what God’s been working on: getting my eyes off of myself and my own ambitions and onto Him and His calling for me.

I’m still not sure exactly what that calling is, but I think this blog might turn out to be part of it. At any rate, I’m trying to keep myself flexible and open to where He wants to lead me.

I was tempted to add on an apology here for anyone who might be offended by all this God talk, and a reassurance that I’ll still post about other things and this won’t primarily be a faith-centered blog. But I’m going to resist the urge. You see, that’s another part of what God’s been dealing with me about. The Internet circles in which I’ve been traveling are primarily filled with agnostics and atheists, many of whom are writers I admire, and I’ve been too fixated on their good opinion and worried about offending them or driving them away and not nearly concerned enough with pleasing God in ALL areas of my life — including blogging — and putting Christ at the center of everything I do.

The truth is I don’t know where this blog is going with any real certainty. I only know that I have a story to share about the transformation God has done and is doing in me, and some people might be helped by that story. Some people might find healing in it. If you’re not one of those people, that’s okay. I’ve already steeled myself to lose some followers, but this isn’t about followers or numbers. It’s about ministering to weary and hurting hearts and giving glory to the One who healed my heart.

Not that I won’t still post updates about what I’ve been up to and how my writing projects are going, or talk about more frivolous stuff like crafting and iZombie and, oh yeah, how I’m trying to learn to play the guitar. Again. But you can expect things to be filtered through a God-shaped lens and lots of prayer and reflection.

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5 thoughts on “Here I Am

  1. The Internet circles in which I’ve been traveling are primarily filled with agnostics and atheists, many of whom are writers I admire, and I’ve been too fixated on their good opinion and worried about offending them or driving them away and not nearly concerned enough with pleasing God in ALL areas of my life

    Ouch. As you know, my Internet circle started with fandom, and in the past several years, it became All Politics, All the Time. And almost everyone I spend my online time with is an agnostic/atheist Democrat. It’s terrible feeling like I have to keep quiet about God and politics, because I don’t want to offend anyone. I’ve lately been tweeting about God and what he’s doing in my life, so that’s a baby step. Just admitting I’m a conservative, second-Amendment supporting, Christian is like putting a target on my back and saying, “Hey, friends! Hate me!” So I stay quiet and hope God forgives me anyway.

    I’m happy you’re taking step on faith, and I look forward to reading everything you post here. *adds you to my feed reader*

    xoxo

    1. Oh Sunny, I know exactly what you mean. It’s so hard. You (this is a collective you that includes myself) don’t want to offend or hurt feelings or stir up strife, you just want to get along and keep the peace, but sometimes keeping silent feels like tacit agreement with things you definitely don’t agree with. You want to stand up for your faith but you don’t want to make anybody feel unwelcome–nevermind the fact that they’re obviously not concerned about making YOU (or people like you) feel welcome.

      I struggle with this every time I go on social media. But lately I’ve been asking myself more and more, WHY do I want people to like me whom I know hate everything I believe in and stand for? Why do I desire the good opinion of people who, if they knew my beliefs and opinions, would accuse me of being at best stupid, ignorant and misguided, and at worst, an evil person? And yet, if I’m honest, I like a lot of these people and I want them to like me back. So it’s hard to put things out there knowing that I’m running the risk that some of them might not like me anymore. It’s just something I have to keep asking God to give me the courage to do.

      Posting stuff like that on Twitter is actually a pretty big step, though. Much bigger than a baby step. That takes guts. I’m actually more nervous about tweeting links to this blog than I am about having this blog in the first place. *HUGS*

  2. I am so, so, so on the same page as you. Part of the reason I’m on ‘hiatus’ is because I’m doing some serious soul-searching and praying myself about if I’m supposed to be blogging, and what I’m supposed to be blogging about. I do know I’ve been on the wrong track, because I’ve been doing all the things ‘they’ say vs what’s in my heart.

    I *like* blogging, I’ve been doing it in some form or another since I was about 14 or 15, and I’d like to keep up that habit because it’s the closest thing to a journal I have. But one thing I’ve been struggling with lately is that I feel like my voice has been silenced in many ways (I have felt that way my entire life – one of my foremost childhood memories is my parents telling me I had no tact and that I needed to think more before I said things), and of course in our crazy world we all have equal rights and free speech… unless you’re a Christian. And I think it’s started to affect my writing in general because I just haven’t wanted to, because who would even care what I thought.

    So. The first thing I have to do is care about my own voice, so I *can* say what God wants. Which is what I’m working on now, lol.

    1. We passed each other at Aldi today. You were coming in the entrance as I was going out the exit. I tried to wave but you didn’t see me. Anyway, hi!

      I wondered whether I should share this with you after I read your blog post yesterday, and this seems like confirmation. This has been a big help to me in clarifying what I hope to accomplish as a blogger: http://www.incourage.me/2010/11/six-things-every-christian-blogger-needs-to-know.html

      I found that through this page, which also has a lot of good stuff about being a Christian on social media (scroll down to the last post on the page to get started): http://holleygerth.com/category/writingpublishing/

      I, for one, care about your voice. I haven’t always commented to say so, but I’ve often been touched or ministered to by your blog. I hope you can get back your enthusiasm for sharing it. *HUGS*

      1. Gay, sorry I missed you! There were about 50 bazillion things going through my head as I was leaving Aldi, so I wasn’t being very observant!

        I will definitely check out those links, and thank you for the encouragement! *hugs*

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